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FICTION
MixPix News
People say a picture is worth
a thousand words.
Well then, how many coherent
words do you think the following pictures have to offer? Let
me express my gratitude to the persons appearing on this
page for their bravery in agreeing to participate in Ikani's
digital experiments. Their contributions have led to many
untold (and best forgotten) achievements in the realm of
science and technology and, most of all, entertainment in
Nigeria, the African continent and the world as a whole.
The Car Of The Future
Architect Abusule is a great
fan of cars. So it's no wonder that he has had a profound
interest in messing around with automobiles (often causing
local mechanics to hiss a lot), watching BBC TopGear and
every now then attempting to produce a car design of his
own.
His interests and efforts
finally paid off - behold Nigeria's first locally
manufactured modern car. Concerns about the world's climate
and the environment we live in today influenced this car
enthusiast's design. The vehicle is totally
environment-friendly - there's the very minimum waste of
natural resources or damage to earth's environment and
atmosphere. Yes, the car of the future! It crashed into a
few railings during the test-drive, but not much harm
done...
His picture here has got to
be his most popular on the World Wide Web.
fellow car-lovers around the world
can contact Abusule using his email address:
abusule@yahoo.com
Rosy Surgery
Roselyn Iktodovitch
probably made history by volunteering in
Ikani's notorious Become Nigerian Digital Surgery procedure
(also known by some clowns as the Reverse Michael Jackson
Syndrome) which saw her transformation into a 'correct
Nigerian'. The operation was totally painless as she ad no
idea of her picture which had been nicked... borrowed for
the experiment.
Look closely at the picture.
That's right, you're looking at exactly the same face (hair
being the only subtraction). It was especially important to
get the nose job done right plus the skin tone (that only
took a few hours in an oven at the local bakery).
Allright, allright, let's be
serious here! The experiment was a success and today,
Roselyn lives happily as Roselyn Itodo in Nigeria and is
interested in making pen pals from around the globe (Canada
in particular).
You can contact her by
sending emails to
roselynitodo@yahoo.com or visiting her homepage at
http://www.geocities.com/roselynitodo .
BlingBling Lizard
A baseball cap and lots of
blingbling makes this this Nigerian lizard stand out
from all the rest. The rapper with its 'bad reptile' image
has caused quite a lot of controversy in the world of Hip
Hop and Wall-To-Wall-Hop.
Critics have called its
lyrics anti-human, abusive to insects and sends out the
wrong message to the youth about the goodness of being
cold-blooded. Some artistes have even condemned its style of
Hip Hop saying all it is, is commercial crap without any
artistic content whatsoever. They point out the fact that
since no instruments are needed only computer generated
sounds and voice-tuning software, talent is no longer a
factor in the production of the countless albums flooding
the market today. Some birds can't even sing anymore, they
merely resort to the use of ringtones on mobile phones to
attract their mates.
Despite all the criticism,
BlingBling Lizard has been one of Ikani's most successful
discoveries. Songs like The Real Slim Scaly and
Axel Fly have been chart-toppers with the album
6
Million Ways To Chew A Fly going platinum eleven times in
just three years. I
have no idea how to contact this star as it's a lizard and
doesn't hang out with the mainstream human entertainers. A
friend of mine in the U.K., however, tells me its picture
reminds him of some of their local 'yardies' over there. You
never know...
Anyway, that's it.
Anyone with
anything interestingly funny to share can send an
SMS message to Ikani on the phone number
+234-805-7969383.
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